i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
