I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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