so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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