Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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