Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
