fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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