i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
