She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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