I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
