I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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