tell your sister to shave her snatch
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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