yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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