We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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