I must be too annoying 4 u.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
