Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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