My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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