the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Mom said you looked used
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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