We should be called the Road Head Warriors
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
