I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
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