3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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