this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
