I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
