I smell stomach acid.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
