Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
