Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
