I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
