You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
