hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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