I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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