Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
