he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
