Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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