I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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