Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
