I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
