Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
