Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
