True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
