I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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