She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize