I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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