He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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