2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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