Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
