Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
