have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
