I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Even my vagina gasped.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
