What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
