How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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