No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
