you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize